I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
