You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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