my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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