we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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