I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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