he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize