It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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