Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
