well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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