Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
