Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
