At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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