I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
