Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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