she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
