Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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