I am midnight drunk by noon
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
