He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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