I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
