vagina is talking i cant
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
not ubering you a puppy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
