So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
