He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
