He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
