you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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