my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
