I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
