Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
