YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
