You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize