So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize