So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
