There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
