it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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