White coat. Heels.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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