I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize