She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
