so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've blown a few things in my day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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