...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
