Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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