You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
