Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
