not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
