Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize