Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
