is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
