Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
