you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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