So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
