I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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