You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
