I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My pussy is not your playground.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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