my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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