OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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