fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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