If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
