:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
