today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
