I want to walk on stilts...naked
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
