He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
