I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
