But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
